News - EA @ E3

- EA @ E3 -

A summary of sports sorts...

Blah blah Battlefront!

Motion blurrrr

Nothing like flashing your big guns right away or in this case small guns that aren't actually close to being able to be called guns but still hey ho here we go with Star Wars Battlefront. We're treated to the usual array of being told just how much the people working on this game love Star Wars and then we get the honour NAY the privilege of seeing some hella early conceptual footage featuring shiny foliage and storm troopers. Nothing to see here till 2015 people so move along

Andrew 'evil overlord of the new world' Wilson

AHH!

God he's looking more malevolent each time

Dragon Age Inquisition

Archer lady

Bam! Another big gun thrown at your face, or sword in this case really.  Unlike what we saw at the Xbox conference we got to see some of the actual in game combat with a HUD and everything which I always love because at least seeing the HUD makes it feel like it might just be real footage. Anyway some lady appears on stage playing some sweet music on her fancy Cello while we sit and watch shiny gameplay and shiny dragons and shiny shinies. Some story fluff is mentioned about how YOU are the inquisitor and you must assemble a team to beat back the evil and rise up and become a legend..Same old same old.

Finally some gameplay! Time to see what it will look like when you're flailing about trying to beat a dragon or at least kill one of its legs if the video is to be believed. It's all focused on the active side of the DA combat system which has never seemed like the best way of doing things in that game but hey ho they're playing with a gamepad so lets assume it might be the console version which would explain why the UI looks so damn terrible, conceptual or not it's bad. That being said the combat looks fluid enough and the character switching looked nice and quick, after that we got to see a picture of the tactical combat so yea thanks for that EA...

It wouldn't be a DA game without a star studded cast of other characters and no surprise they told us about some of them: Grey Warden man, Archer lady, Magey the mage and Big shadey bastard with horns. It's a safe bet that more will follow and most likely a few old faces will reappear. October 7th is when we'll find out so they better pull their fingers out of their arses.

Aaryn Flynn and all his feels

EUGHHHHHHH

Mass Effect 4?

Conceptual art for conceptual armour for conceptual game

Another round of conceptual shit that really adds to the idea that EA really had nothing to bring to E3 but booked the slot anyway. Apparently we're going to be able to go to new places and explore more than we could in the previous iterations and meet new people and have new music that will most likely be great. Not that much to say or know because I'm certain the guys working on it have no idea what they're doing for now but we'll see in 2-3 years probably.

Sims 4

Eyyyyy WEIGHTS

This is a bit of a shift in pace but fuck it SIMS! They're smarter and deeper and now you can control their thoughts and make Obama in the trailer..They're really pushing hard this time round on the whole personality side of the Sims affecting how they interact with other Sims and all that suchness but the main part is that they're bringing user created content right to the forefront this time and you'll be able to upload and download on the fly including just bringing a new Sim into the fold just like that. You can also laugh yourself to death apparently so that's nice. The premiere bastard simulator is out September 2nd.

SPORTS SECTION

Well it wouldn't be EA without a tonne of sports games that are in no way different to last years but regardless here we go, starting withhhh...

UFC

Hwoorrrrr

Punchy punchy grunty men in tight shorts and Bruce Lee for some reason, I don't know why anybody needed this but apparently we did else it wouldn't exist. Dana White came back to once again ignore everything he said in the past about EA what with the whole declaring war on them and such and he still loves fighting and wants you to love it as well or else he'll wrap you in his arms and snap your puny body in half. Body snapping or not this game looks bland and boring and I'm sure people will love it, better hurry though because it's out June 17th which is..soon.

*Testosterone sounds*

NHL 15

Is this the right sport?

...It's a hockey game? I'm English so I don't know what I'm looking at, could be Canadians but can't be sure

Criterion

GoPro the video game

Ohhh look who's still a studio and doing stuff guys, your favourite Burnout Paradise creators are still a thing and they brought some violently early alpha or 'conceptual alpha' footage of their new game. Or at least it could be a game nobody knows for sure and that goes for the devs judging by the video, what I can tell you is that it's a first person extreme sports game type thing..It looks like an entire 24hours broadcast of the extreme sports channel, helicopters, ATVs, jet-skis, that kinda shit. An absolute whole lotta nothing that is definitely not a new Burnout game sadly.

PGA Tour

EXTREME GOLF BITCHES

Shhhhh quiet on the green please as Mr. Golf attempts to make the putt when suddenly AN AIRCRAFT CARRIER SMASHES THROUGH THE COURSE AND EXPLOSIONS AND GOLF! More than just golf this time ladies and gentlemenfolk this time there's also 'Extreme Fantasy Courses' featuring the large chuck of caps above, not sure why but fuck at least they're spicing things up for once, even if it is in a golf game of all things but don't worry you can still have your realistic golf experience as well all lovingly rendered in the Frostbite 3 engine coming Spring 2015.

Madden 15

*grunt*

Time for your yearly dose of Foobawwl! More specifically American Football but still what do you want to hear, it's a Madden game, it's got throwing and tackling and crotch grabbing and all the other things in American Football

Sports section over (for now)

Dawngate

Bit of an odd way to come out of their testosterone section and go straight into their new MOBA style thing without really explaining what it really is. The thing that separates Dawngate from other MOBAs is the ability to mix up your class and change the way you build it thus changing the overall meta of the game. There's plenty of streams going for it on Twitch if you're looking for something that's not DotA or LoL or any of the other ten thousand MOBAs.

Andrew Wilsons back and still evil

"and this is how big it is..ladies"

Oh boy I do love it when they constantly tell us how much they love us and thank us and how they're putting players first because any other business model would sound stupid to the public.

Mirrors Edge 2

Conceptual man fighter

Contain your excitement people there wasn't much in the way of information here, yet again more conceptual alpha footage which don't get me wrong looks great with the expected brightness cranked up to 1 million and lots of whites but, conceptual alpha doesn't mean shit and it's hard to stay excited with those words floating around your brain.

Devs that were interviewed talked a lot about how character design is important to them as is the sound design behind the game which is great, we got to see some combat as well which was all hand to hand or hand to foot stuff which was nice especially if they remove guns from the game at least in terms of us using them. Still though, not much to see and no dates or anything so moving on!

FIFAAAAAAA

Kick the ball, earn all the money

Ohhhh who gives a fuckkkkk, apparently lots of people do since millions buy the damn game. It's a damn football game or soccer for those of you with strange tastes...Things are different this year though guys, the goal posts and corner flags will ACTUALLY MOVE WHEN YOU HIT THEM and boots will leave marks on the field and you'll get mud on your clothes! Hold on to your balls guys this is the future of fucking gaming right here narrated by Idris Elba who might have died a little inside reading the script for the presentation.

Battlefield Hardline

Yup

No surprises here since it leaked before E3 even started but for those not in the know Hardline is basically Battlefields answer to Payday or cops vs robbers, smaller maps all centred around either the heisters stealing whatever it is from points A and B or the police murdering them enough time to remove all their spawn tickets. Now this might shock you but just hold on, it looks...exactly like BF4..I can feel your excitement from here.

They still haven't come out and said "Oh hey this is just DLC" or something like that which is exactly what it feels like, I don't know why it exists but surely they can't charge full price for it even if you can set up zip-lines between buildings! The closed beta began during the conference and places were filled before the start of Ubisofts conference at least for PC anyway and to make things even stupider they took us live to a rooftop in L.A where they were hosting a Hardline tournament because once again, fuck you that's why.

END!

Summary

Well once again 2015 is looking like a great year and it doesn't matter anyway because SPORTS!!!!!...